"This guy is straight out of Hatchet Sal's nightmares. Just goes to show crime doesn't pay - or maybe Sal should have just laid off the cheese."

- TimeSplitters 2 in-game description.



Mobster Hatchet Sal's grisly trophies come to life (he has a thing for collecting the hands of his victims and keeping them in a shoe box under his bed, or, more accurately, I should say he had a thing--the Handyman nightmare scared him straight). These comical, but deadly, creatures first appeared in Free Radical's 2002 TimeSplitters 2 video game. Handymen--assuming you have character abilities set to 'ON'--can take a good amount of damage, are fair marksmen, but have low agility/speed.

To unlock Handyman as a playable character, earn a gold or platinum medal on the "Can't Handle This" Outgunned-But-Never-Outpunned Honorary League Arcade level. The scenario for this is described, in-game, as: "Welcome to Hatchet Sal's cheese induced nightmare. Well, at least now we know what Big Tony's left hand man looks like. Just goes to show if you mutilate people for a living you've got to expect to lose some sleep." As Hatchet Sal, gun down 40 Handymen to complete the stage. Accomplishing this in 4 minutes will get you a bronze trophy, 3-1/2 minutes silver, 3 minutes gold, and 2-1/2 minutes platinum. It's not easy--the trick lies in getting the double Tommy guns weapon (located on the ground floor of the nightclub, right in front of the entrance--if you're lucky, you'll spawn there at the start of the match) as quickly as possible and then camping in that general area. Let the finger-haired fools come to you and mow them down the instant you see so much as a pinky come around the corner. There's a regenerating health pack nearby that you should grab, in between assaults, to patch up any hits you take from your zany adversaries. More importantly, don't forget to (1) manually reload whenever you get the chance, and (2) occasionally snap up the double Tommy guns again, when they respawn, to top off your ammunition (also pick up any single Tommy guns the Handymen happen to drop after being killed to add even more bullets to your stockpile)--you don't want to be caught clicking on empty drums when a gang of these merry murderers comes barreling down on you.


Materials:
Newsprint, Kleenex, white/hot glue, wire twist ties, and acrylic paint.

Dimensions*:
(*The maximum size values for Handyman will vary depending on how the joints are positioned; the numbers given assume a "neutral" standing pose.)

2.7 cm/1.1 in. x 7.9 cm/3.1 in. (widest point x highest point)

Articulation:
Eleven points; neck, shoulders (2), elbows (2), hips (2), knees (2), and ankles (2).

Time:
Three days in March 2009 (Mar. 10-12).